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Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer

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Sanity Savers For Busy Mums Page


Question 1
"How do I get more time to play?"
Answer:
Schedule it in.
Why? Because if you don't schedule it you will generally let other things have a higher priority and put yourself and a life further down the list.

So just write 15 minutes a day, play time into your diary and don't change it for anything. If you have little kids it may be five x three-minute blocks for you. To get started, get your diary NOW and write in one fun thing you have been hanging out to do. Call a friend and tell them that you are going to do it, and DO IT today.

Question 2
"What happens when I feel guilty for not having enough time with the kids?"
Answer:
Get over it, and value yourself. Here's why: Guilt is more damaging to your health than any physical stress. So, when you feel guilty you change your body chemistry negatively and you can produce symptoms like headaches etc. If you give yourself a hard time for feeling guilty you add more stress. Relax and realise you are human we all get busy. Go for quality time if you cannot get the quantity you desire.

Question 3
"How do I stop myself getting frustrated with life?"
Answer:
Realise your expectations are just that, your expectations. Why? Because you only get frustrated when your expectations are not met. Get over that you cannot control everything or everyone. Relax and go with the flow. Ylang Ylang essential oil helps release anger that can come from frustration. It helps you relax and enjoy life your life. Vaporise it before you get cranky. I use it in combination with Jasmine, Lime and Sweet Orange in my Chill Out blend to help you go with the ups and downs of life.

Question 4
"Where do I get the discipline to say NO to everyone else and take time for me?"
Answer:
Realise discipline is easier to handle than regret. Here's why: You cannot turn back time, and regret sucks the life out of you. Saying no to stuff that is draining your energy for life, feeds you the energy to keep saying no. Consider living by the rule "If its hard to do, all the more reason to do it". If you play that game, you have self-discipline and can say NO easily. Taking those even small amounts of time to yourself will help make you a more fun mum to be around.

Question 5
"How do get to "pee" in peace?"
Answer:
I meet so many mums with little kids that don't even get time to go to the toilet in peace. Yes the world will end if the child is not in there with you. Why? Because to them, the world will end if they don't have your attention right now. There is no magical answer to this one, but you do deserve to "pee" in peace. Know that you are not alone and that every mum has been there on this one. The kids will move through it and you will survive.

Question 6
"What happens if I ask for what I want?"
Answer:
You will gain the respect of others for actually asking for help. Here's why: People admire people who are straight and honest with them. It helps validate how they are also feeling. We all basically want the same things in life, but most people won't show their "humanness" and ask for what they want. If you don't ask in the first place you have no possibility of getting it. So create the possibility and ask for what you want, some help.

Question 7
"How do I get a social life?"
Answer:
Get out and meet other grown ups. Why? Networking with other mums and adults in general is a sanity saver. We all need reassurance sometimes, supporting and encouraging others feeds you energy. As you support others, you also gain the support from others. Join a networking group of like-minded people to share ideas and your daily challenges with.

Question 8
"Why don't I feel deserving of rest time?"
Answer:
You have too much fun whining about it. Here's why: Humans find it easier to complain about stuff than to do something about it. If you respected yourself and took quality rest time, (I know it is not always quantity) you would have nothing to whine about. Wow you would be happy. Shock. So, channel your energy into being positive and get on living the happy life you deserve and already have. Think about it how life is here in Australia compared to some other countries in the world. Be grateful for the opportunities and wonderful things you already have.

Question 9
"How do get more energy for life?"
Answer:
Do something you enjoy, or if you don't enjoy it, change your perception to the task. Why? You always naturally have the energy for the things you love doing. So just change your perception to what you are doing. If you tell yourself you are energised and life is fun. That is what it will be. Change your perception to what is happening, tell yourself you have all the energy you need and you love life.

Question 10
"What happens if I don't plan for play?"
Answer:
You won't get it. Here's why: It's easier to do something for someone else than for yourself. So schedule it to the tiniest detail like you would a task at work, and focus on the joy that playtime will bring. Planning to this amount of detail feeds you energy and excites you into doing it more often. Write tomorrow's playtime in your diary right now. I know your first through is that I am too busy, but make a start even if it is five minutes of "play time". Remember go for quality.

Question 11
"How do I get balanced?"
Answer:
Allow yourself to be human. We all have room for improvement. Why? Because no one person or thing is ever perfect. You will drive yourself mad trying to be perfect. Being balanced is noticing if you are off track and taking action to rectify it. For instance if you have extra coffee today the world will not end, simply have two extra waters to balance it out.

Question 12
"What do I do if I'm in overwhelm?"
Answer:
Stop and breathe. Here's why: Breathing keeps you alive. It really does. If you don't breathe when overwhelmed, you will never think straight to get yourself out of it. So, stop, breathe, see what is really happening compared to what you think is happening and deal with it, NOW. Breathing helps you move through the stress and any fear associated with it.

Question 13
"How do feel romantic when I am so busy?"
Answer:
Plan ahead and schedule in some playtime with your partner. Why? When you are busy one of the last things to happen will be playtime with the one you love. Don't wait hoping that you will be spontaneous, plan for the romance. Think about it right now, what simple act could you plan for tonight. Make it easy and fun, you don't always need the whole tenpage essay to enjoy some romance. Use some fun essential oils like Orange and May Change or my Play More Blend to help set the scene.

Question 14
"What happens when I don't eat properly or I skip meals?"
Answer:
You increase your chance of losing your life. Here's why: Food is the fuel that keeps you alive. It's that simple, and the first thing that goes hungry is your brain. How can you think straight if your brain is not nourished? See food as a fuel and behave in your eating six days a week and have one FREE DAY a week to let loose.

Conclusion
If you don't "Get a Life" you could lose your life. The more you know how to do the basics and look after your body, the more you body will look after you.

Life Balancing expert Jennifer Jefferies is one of Australia's best-known authors and speakers. Jennifer's simple, practical and proven 7 Steps to Sanity can help bring balance to anyone who wants to have it all without sacrificing their health, sanity or sense of humour along the way. Jennifer is a qualified health practitioner, who speaks to corporations throughout Australia, New Zealand and Southeast Asia, sharing practical real-life strategies that help people to improve their health, wellbeing and productivity by finding balance in their lives.

Jennifer has also written numerous books and e-books and life balancing products. You can contact Jennifer at:

Jennifer Jefferies International Pty Ltd
Po Box 4298,
Elanora, QLD 4221 Australia
Phone: +61 7 55986035
http://www.jenniferjefferies.com


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