|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|
||||
|
|
|
|
|
||
HOMEBOOKMARKNEWSLETTERJoin our newsletter to receive news of offers and discountsSearch
AS FEATURED IN...Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer
Navigation 3 Wheeler Twins And Tripples
3 Wheelers
9 Months To 11 Years
9 Months To 4 Years
Baby Bags
Bath And Changing Units
Bedding
Birth To 12 Months
Birth To 4 Years
Boori
Buggies
Buggy Accessories
Buggy Boards
Cot Accessories
Cots
Cribs
Grobags Sleeping Bags
Heritage Range
Highchairs
Monitors
Moses Baskets
Nappies
Nursing Chairs
Portable Highchairs
Rocking Horses
Starter Beds
Tandems
Travel Cots
Travel Systems
Twins
Walkers
Parening Books |
Its OK to Say No
In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to a new style of parenting that is much more democratic than most of us experienced, growing up. Families are more child- centered than they were before, we no longer advocate spanking as an effective form of discipline, we often allow children to negotiate for privileges or things, and we're much more involved in our children's lives than most of our parents were in our lives. Parenting is much, much less autocratic than it was in previous generations. As with many other changes we make over time, sometimes we take a good thing too far and it no longer serves the purpose it was intended. Offering choices, using natural and logical consequences, and using a kinder tone in our voice are all excellent tools to achieve desirable results. However, often we forget that it's still OK to simply say "no" when a child asks for something we consider unreasonable. They might be asking for a toy that is not suitable for their age or is beyond your budget. They might already have more toys than they can possible use. They might be asking to go somewhere and you know you don't have the time or energy to take them there. They might be asking for a sleep-over or for a friend to come over to play and you're simply not in the mood. You have the right as a parent to say no and then leave it at that. We don't have to always give long explanations as to why they can't have something or go somewhere. We don't even have to raise our voice. A simple, "No, not today" is enough. If we let them, they'll try and manipulate us with cries, whines, temper tantrums and any number of other ways to get us to change our mind. If we ultimately do change our mind to please them, we've essentially taught them that they can control us to get what they want. How do you stop your child from manipulating you into changing your mind? First of all, believe in yourself. Know that you know what is best for both you and your child and it's not in anyone's best interest if you give in. Also, tell yourself that you're not going to get hooked and simply walk away or change the subject. Children are very skilled at making us feel guilty. Remember that children that have unclear boundaries are less secure than those that have clear boundaries. Now that you know it's fine to say no, it doesn't mean that you can't change your mind. If you've said no to something and later change your mind after you've thought about it, it's OK to go back to your child and say: "You know, I've been thinking about what you were asking about and I've changed my mind." We don't want to be doing that all the time, but changing your mind doesn't make you an indecisive parent. Who doesn't change their mind now and again? Remember, we're human. Barbara Desmarais
MORE RESOURCES:
babies - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Child Abuse - Survey & Comments Beyond cases reported to authorities, little knowledge exists on the types, amount, and effects of childhood victimization. Through a national survey of adolescents, researchers examined the prevalence of sexual assault, physical assault, physically abusive punishment, and witnessing an act of violence and subsequent effects on mental health, substance use, and delinquent behavior problems. ADHD Treatment: Strategy and Philosophy If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder during the summer, or winter months, and if your child or teen is not a danger to himself or to someone else, we recommend that you try diet and nutritional interventions first and see if they work. Try our Eating Program/Diet and order the VAXA products "Attend" and "Extress". What You Can Learn About Life From Your Children You can learn a lot from children.The best part of all is the advice is priceless. Its OK to Say No In the last 20 years we've all been introduced to a new style of parenting that is much more democratic than most of us experienced, growing up. Families are more child- centered than they were before, we no longer advocate spanking as an effective form of discipline, we often allow children to negotiate for privileges or things, and we're much more involved in our children's lives than most of our parents were in our lives. Thriving As A Family When You Live In The Fast lane It is extraordinary times that we find ourselves in. Change is now an entrenched way of life. STOP Parental Alienation Syndrome before It Gets a Chance to START Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by Dr. Richard Gardner in his book of the same name. A Chart for Everything For every season, check, check, check, There is a chart, check, check, check, And a chart can replace some of your nagging. A chart for chores, A chart for grades. MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part II Handing Down Malignancy.Children may begin bright and eager to face the world, but are often inundated with the conditioning of their fear-ridden predecessors speaking of lost dreams-taken by no one in particular. Just Average What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good enough?That's what came out in Joshua's report card recently. Looking back, I wasn't too bright a child either. What To Do With A 6 Year Old Smart Mouth Know It All Just the other day, I was talking to some other stay at home moms and asked if they were struggling with any difficulties. "Yes," one piped up almost immediately, "discipline problems with my 6 year old smart mouth know-it-all! I don't want to spank, and don't, but he seems to laugh at time out, privilage loss, etc. The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up (Ecclesiastes 3:1-3) Four of the boys at training tonight are preparing themselves for their first fight at our forthcoming Christians vs. Lions promotion, scheduled for only three weeks hence. What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up? Q. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"A. For School Success, Dont Coddle Your Kids Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes their best intentions are misguided. Bring On The Music To Help Your Child Learn Faster And More Effectively Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I am quite sure that the majority of us learnt it by singing the ABC Song: 'ABCDEFG-HIJKLMNOP-QRS-TUV-WXY-and-Z.. Preparing Your Child for the Three Rs There is little doubt that reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic are crucial elements in the education of any child. A child's ability to later cope in the adult world, to have a career, to take charge of his financial affairs and to live independently depends to a large extent on his mastery of these skills. Why Creativity and Self-Expression are Important to Little Kids Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider themselves artistic. Parents do, however, worry about their toddler's art abilities. 10 Reasons Why You Need to Ditch the Super Mom Syndrome For any of you Moms out there that are doing it all, attempting to gain Super Mom status, let me give you my own personal opinion?It's not worth it!!! The pursuit of the Super Mom is an endless search that will be of great cost to you in the end. Here are 10 reasons why you need to put an immediate halt to this pursuit. School Holiday Survival Guide The school holidays are a great time for the kids, all those weeks of fun and games, no school, getting up late??but not for their parents! Summer vacation time can be just as much like hard work as the rest of the year. Trying to keep the kids entertained for six whole weeks can seem like a daunting task, so here are ten top tips to help you survive the summer holidays. Loving Your Step-Children Loving your step-child can be both simple and hard. It is not enough for parents, step parents and extended family to feel a deep glow of love for the children in your circle of influence. Parental Involvement in Learning Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when parents become involved in their education. According to the National Institute for Literacy, when parents or other family members frequently read to children entering kindergarten, those children were at a distinct advantage over children whose families read to them less often.
|
