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Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer

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Parenting Your Teenager: Are Sleep Overs with the Opposite Sex OK?


Q. Our 17-year-old son wants us to let his girlfriend spend the night at our house in his room. He has two beds since his older brother left for college. He says nothing will happen and lots of his friends' parents allow this. Should we try it and see how it works?

A. You're kidding, right?

Let me ask that in a slightly different way:

You are kidding, right?

Unfortunately, I know you're not because you are not the first parent to ask me this.

I must ask you:

Are you ready to be grandparents? Are you ready to help raise, in your home, your new grandchild? Are you prepared to be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor and/or sued?

The answer is an emphatic NO! I don't care what promises are made to you, it's a horrible idea and invites disaster.

Teens Not Emotionally Ready for Sex

In addition to all the moral issues, teenagers are simply not emotionally prepared for sex. While their bodies and hormones are many times well prepared, their emotions are not.

And that goes for boys as well as girls.

It's time for a healthy dose of Vitamin NO in answer to your son's question.

And by the way, anytime you hear "everyone else's parents are letting them do it," watch out.

More than likely it's not true.

Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his f'ree weekly internet newsletter "ParenitngYourTeenager."


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