|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|
||||
|
|
|
|
|
||
HOMEBOOKMARKNEWSLETTERJoin our newsletter to receive news of offers and discountsSearch
AS FEATURED IN...Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer
Navigation 3 Wheeler Twins And Tripples
3 Wheelers
9 Months To 11 Years
9 Months To 4 Years
Baby Bags
Bath And Changing Units
Bedding
Birth To 12 Months
Birth To 4 Years
Boori
Buggies
Buggy Accessories
Buggy Boards
Cot Accessories
Cots
Cribs
Grobags Sleeping Bags
Heritage Range
Highchairs
Monitors
Moses Baskets
Nappies
Nursing Chairs
Portable Highchairs
Rocking Horses
Starter Beds
Tandems
Travel Cots
Travel Systems
Twins
Walkers
Parening Books |
Top 10 Mistakes by New and Expectant Dads
From criticizing a spouse, to claming up about one's own feelings, there's no shortage of mistakes made by new dads and dads-to-be. Here's a Top 10 List of New Dad Mistakes and some suggestions on how to make the transition to fatherhood a bit smoother. 1. Criticizing mothering abilities. One of the sure-fire ways to get into an argument, especially in the middle of the night, is to criticize your spouse and what she's doing. By all means, speak up if the child can be hurt. (The same goes in the reverse, by the way.) If you're uncomfortable with what she's doing, save it for the morning or for a time when she's better rested and you and she can discuss the matter calmly. Choose your approach carefully. Try to broach the subject when it will be received well. After all, she may be right, or you both may be right. With parenting, there are often many rights. And you both want what's best for your newborn. 2. Sitting back and letting your spouse do it all. As a dad, one of the worst things you can do is sit back and let your spouse do all the work. You're just setting the groundwork for trouble. Try discussing with her what needs to be done, and instigate those conversations. Most often the women initiates the conversation. If she sees you're interested, she'll value your opinion that much more and feel comforted by the knowledge that she's not in this alone. If you wait too long to get involved, your spouse may resent it. 3. Ignoring signs of depression and anxiety. You are the one who's NOT pregnant. You don't have hormones raging inside of you. You need to watch out for extreme, and sometimes even subtle, changes in your spouse. Look out for signs of depression or high anxiety beyond what might be considered normal for a life-altering event. Studies are now showing depression in women WHILE pregnant, not just after the baby is born. It should also be noted that Post Pardum Depression can sometimes manifest itself with panic attacks. It's not always depression per se. 4. Trying to fix everything. A man's natural tenancy is to "fix" things. But women often want their men to just listen to how they're feeling. They want to be understood and heard. They don't necessarily want you to do anything. They just want to vent. Be the support for your spouse. 5. Ignoring your partner's feelings. If you notice your spouse upset, a bit down or just not herself, the easiest thing to do is to look the other way. Approach her and ask her what's wrong. But be prepared to let it go if she doesn't want to talk about it. Just asking lets her know that you care. 6. Claming up about your own feelings. Men have been called many things, but touchy-feely when it comes to our own feelings and anxieties, is usually not among them. But men do have feelings, fears and anxieties. When it comes to having a baby they typically deal with the financial issues surrounding the new baby. Men also tend to bottle up those feelings fearing that they will overburden their already burdened spouse. It's important men share their feelings, she will most likely feel closer to her spouse for sharing and will also then know she's not the only one with anxiety. The communication will help foster a feeling that you're in this together, and you can get through any challenge together. 7. Losing track of time. Dads to be should be keeping track of time. Dads need to know how far along their spouses are in pregnancy, not just the due-date. Grab a pen and paper and initiate a discussion with your spouse about what she would like to see accomplished and by when. And come up with your own ideas as well. When should the baby's room be painted? When should the furniture be bought? Are there home improvement projects you're trying to get crossed off the list before the little one arrives? Initiate the completion of projects so your spouse doesn't feel like a nag. 8. Playing dumb. Playing into the stereotypes of being a dumb dad especially when it comes to changing a diaper or giving a bottle makes a miserable situation for everyone. And will most certainly make your spouse upset with you. Then when you do interject your opinion, your spouse will likely discount it. If you're not playing, that's even worse. Get educated. 9. Avoiding parenting classes, magazines. How often have you heard that children don't come with manuals? Mothers don't magically know it all either. They usually do a lot of reading and learning. Dads should do the same (interactive DAD is a good place to start, by the way.) Many hospitals also offer Daddy Boot Camps. Check them out. And attend if you are feeling like you have a lot of learn. 10. Pretending you're asleep when the baby awakens at night. Here's a complaint you hear over and over again. Men are "deep sleepers" and women awaken at every noise. Sometimes that's true. More often it's out of choice. Dads need to do their fair share of waking up. If your spouse is breast-feeding, encourage her to pump milk into bottle so you can let her sleep. If there are issues with a bottle and breastfeeding, then dads should at least be as supportive as they can in cleaning up and with housework. And give your spouse a break, literally. If possible, let her sleep in on the weekends and take over the chores. And get her a manicure and pedicure or a spa getaway. If you can't afford that type of luxury, give her a massage yourself--it's free! Keep in mind, even though becoming a father is a BIG adjustment for you, your spouse is also dealing with the physical and mental recovery from pregnancy and labor. And both were probably more physical than she ever imagined they would be. Taking an active role in raising your child will bring you closer to the your spouse and your newborn. (You don't know how tight you get with the little one during a poopy diaper change or a spit up on your dress shirt.) These are great memories you'll be creating. Your little one won't remember. But you will. And he or she will feel closer to you because of it. Welcome to fatherhood. Glenn Lawrence is editor of the award-winning Interactive DAD Magazine http://www.InteractiveDadMagazine.com, the premier online site for dads updated daily. He's also a father of two.
MORE RESOURCES:
babies - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Whats Mine Is Mine You are at the grocery store with your daughter and she pulls out her hard-earned fifty cents and begins to buy a candy. Your son is at home with his soon to be step-Dad and fifty cents is jingling in your pocket. Parenting---Roots and Wings I'm sure many of you have heard that old Hallmark card adage that goes something like this: Parents give their children two great gifts---one is roots, the other is wings. This is what I address in this article. ADHD: Dialogue with a Non-Believer, Part Four Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read the article What You Should Know About Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward W. after having it handed to me by a member of our church. 10 Tips for Making Daily Physical Activity Part of Your Childs Life! Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty percent of children ages 5 to 8 show at least one heart disease risk factor, including hypertension and obesity, which among children has doubled over the past two decades.? The first signs of arteriosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) are appearing at age 5 - something never before seen in anyone under the age of 30. Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing You have just received a call from your child's teacher explaining that she has noticed your child having difficulty in school. Your child is not understanding math or reading the way the other children do. Bird Flu Pandemic What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent spreading in an epidemic outbreak in America of a virus. There are many things you can do and warn your kids not to do; for instance tell your children; Do not touch handrails in public places and buses. Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Effective Discipline and Consequences A parent writes in, ``We are having a hard time in our family deciding on appropriate punishments when our teen-ager breaks family rules. We can't tell if we are too strict or too lenient. Marriage, Divorce, and Kids Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this country?It's been said that one of the reasons for the high rate of divorce in this country is the manner in which men choose their wives. Specifically, they choose their wives in a fashion similar to how they choose their next car. Meningitis and Septicaemia Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain and spinal cord. It is caused by either a virus or bacteria. Monitoring Your Teens for Drug Use Without Appearing to be Spying Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still need to keep an eye on them. It is much better to realize that things could change, and anticipate that your teen COULD become a user. Beginning the Special Education Process Like anything else in life, there's a method to the special education process. It was put in place to help people who deal with learning disabilities get the best services possible. 10 Things You Can Do To Help A Shy Child There are a few points about shyness in children which will help you better understand the best approach in dealing with your child. You will need to identify the nature of your child's shyness. Disciplining the Wild Child Do you have a wild child? Then this article may be for you. Do you just blow up when you can't take it any more? Then this article is definitely for you. Study Skills - How Can YOU Help Your Kids? Some years ago when touring the Scottish Highlands, a man I met said something that's stuck with me ever since.He was elderly, yet was still working away on his small farm. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: What Do We Mean by Attention Anyway? When we talk about attention, we are talking about two different kinds of abilities: The ability to focus on a specific task put in front of us to do, such as school work, and the ability to pay attention in a more global sense to the world around us, to be able to pay attention to the buzz of the lights overhead, and the touch of the clothes on your skin, and the children playing outside of the classroom. These are two different kinds of attention. Healthy Eating Alone Is Not The Answer Along with eating healthier we need to be more active. The two go hand in hand. 10 Secrets To Know You're A Good Working Parent To Your Kids! How are parents to know they are doing the right thing for their children when they are working parents? Many parents feel guilty for the amount of time they are spending at work versus the amount of time they spend with their children. If you are questioning yourself, trust that you do need to take a closer look at what you are doing. Toilet Terrors And Other Potty Training Fears Potty training fears, often called toilet terrors, are common among toddlers and small children. Look at things from your child's perspective. 5 Tips for Improving Communication With Your Teenager Parents are always looking for ways to open up the communication with their teenagers. Here are 5 ideas that are all within your control. Growing Good People At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language coordination in response to what they hear through the mother's belly wall. Some 52 muscles learn to respond to the various phonemes (a basic language sound like 'b' in boy and 'm' in man) of the language surrounding that belly.
|
