HOME

BOOKMARK

NEWSLETTER

Join our newsletter to receive news of offers and discounts

Search

AS FEATURED IN...


Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer

Weight Watchers®.co.uk. Now with an online plan.

Navigation


Parening Books

Search Now:
Amazon Logo


Raise Awesome Kids! This 4-Point Plan Gets Results


Are your children truthful, kind, and helpful? If so, read no further. If not, please listen to Colby and his mom.

"All my friends cheat," announced 11-year-old Colby.

"What?" exclaimed his mother? "You don't cheat do you?"

"Sometimes," answered Colby. "But I never get caught."

"It's not all right to cheat, young man," scolded his mother. "How many times have I told you cheating is wrong? What is the matter with you?"

Whether it's lying, stealing, cheating or some other problem behavior, do you find yourself giving lectures on being honest while your child rolls his eyes?

I remember counseling one father who loved his daughter so much that he would give her two-hour lectures. She not only rolled her eyes, but tapped her fingers too. He would yell, "Are you listening to me?"

"Uh-huh," she'd answer.

Parents, there is an easier way. It doesn't have to take two hours either. Consider using the 4-POINT PLAN:

Probe
Listen
Appreciate
No Criticizing

Instead of worrying, whining, or wearing yourself out with lengthy lectures, make your goal one of understanding what and how your child thinks. By knowing what your child thinks, you can better influence how he or she thinks. This simple PLAN will help you communicate more effectively.

Let's go back to Colby. Instead of lecturing -

PROBE
Ask nonjudgmental questions. Get as much information as you can in order to understand how and what your child thinks. Guide your child with questions like:

How do you feel when a cheater gets better grades than you get? How do you think honest kids feel about cheaters? How much would your class learn if everyone cheated? What advice would you give to cheaters?

Depending on your child's answers keep probing with thoughtful questions of your own.

LISTEN
Listen with respect. Avoid interrupting with your own advice. If you interrupt, your child may shut down and only tell you what you want to hear. Then you'll be stuck where you started-not knowing what or how your child really thinks.

APPRECIATE
Look for thoughts from your child that you can truly praise. Smile, agree, and let your child know what you liked about his or her thoughts. Hopefully, your child will have already changed some old thoughts about cheating, like "It's okay to cheat if I don't get caught."

NO CRITICIZING
Why not criticize and lecture? Because you need to reflect on what your child said. You need to consider new ways to influence your child's thinking toward a stronger healthier character. You need to create a thoughtful plan of your own for your child's further improvement.

If you follow this 4-Point PLAN you will be giving your child the three priceless gifts that all human beings want:

To be heard
To be understood
To be appreciated

These gifts will bond your child with you and influence his or her character too.

This 4-POINT PLAN is a powerful tool for discussing problems in movies and on TV. You can also use it to discuss real life difficulties at school, in the neighborhood, within your family, and, especially, in stories with dilemmas. The next time you have something important to discuss don't lecture. Next time Probe, Listen, Appreciate, and No criticizing. Try it. You'll like it. Why? Because this 4-POINT PLAN will get you the results you want, an awesome kid with an awesome character.

Jean Tracy, MSS, invites you to build character in young hearts and growing minds. To raise your awesome kids with solid characters, sign up for her FREE Parenting Newsletter and download her FREE bonding activities, parenting tips, and articles at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com

©All rights reserved. Please observe copyright. Post this author resource box when using this article. Please inform me when and where you reprint this article.


MORE RESOURCES:

MiamiHerald.com

Breastfed babies may gain less weight
Fox News
Babies who are fed milk from their mothers' breasts gain less weight over their first year compared to babies fed milk—breast or formula—from a bottle, suggests a new study. The lead author said the difference may come down to how much of a role ...
Did Cave Babies Have Attachment Parents?MiamiHerald.com
Bottle-fed babies gain more weight in first year, study findsVancouver Sun

all 53 news articles »


Top Baby Names In Nevada
KLAS-TV
More>> LAS VEGAS -- Officials say Sophia and Anthony were the top baby name picks among Nevada parents in 2011. The Social Security Administration says the 221 babies named Sophia puts Nevada in line with their peers nationwide.

and more »


TIME

For the first time, minority babies are the majority in U.S.
Chicago Sun-Times
By Hope Yen May 18, 2012 1:40AM Stephanie Dowell/Post-Tribune A baby opens her eyes as she and fellow newborns have their picture taken in the nursery of the family birthing center at St. Margaret Mercy Hospital in Dyer May 23, 2001.
White babies lose USmajorityThe Durango Herald
Minority babies outnumbered white newborns in 2011Washington Post
More minority babies than whites in US: Census BureauChicago Tribune
TIME
all 1,220 news articles »


LifeHealthPro

White babies are the new minority in America
Los Angeles Times
By David Horsey Pudgy, pink Gerber babies are no longer the typical child being born in the United States. According to the US Census Bureau, moms who are Latino, Asian, African American or mixed race are now giving birth to just over 50% of American ...
America's Non-White Majority Won't Remake the GOP Anytime SoonHuffington Post (blog)
More minority babies than whites in USAllentown Morning Call
The baby bombshellNew York Post (blog)
Arizona Daily Star -ABC NEWS 4 -BET
all 22 news articles »


The Star-Ledger - NJ.com

Strollin' with your baby in Hoboken
The Star-Ledger - NJ.com
By Kathleen O'Brien/The Star-Ledger Perhaps it was the pipe-cleaner bracelet that clinched a trophy in the Hoboken Baby Parade for this 2011 participant. Think of it as the Easter Parade for toddlers. Some parents dress their babies in the standard ...



NDTV

Two more babies die in Srinagar hospital; protesters block highway
NDTV
Srinagar: The horror of infant deaths continues in Srinagar with two more babies having lost their lives in the last 24 hours at the government-run GB Pant Hospital in the city. With this, the toll in the hospital has risen to 46 in less than three ...
Infant DeathsGreaterKashmir.com

all 115 news articles »


BBC News

Babies to 'teach' pupils empathy
BBC News
Babies are set to be brought into primary schools in Cardiff to help improve pupils' empathy levels and help reduce any bullying and aggression. The scheme, pioneered in Canada, encourages children to interact in a nurturing manner after observing a ...



Hundreds of thousands of baby red crabs invade Cayman Islands
Washington Post
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico — Hundreds of thousands of red baby crabs are invading the Cayman Islands in a seasonal migration that residents say is unusually heavy this year. The crabs are blanketing roads, scurrying across yards and scratching their way up ...

and more »


PBS

Baby's Tumor Means Surgery Before Birth
PBS
"But we don't know why they occur in only some babies, or why some grow more than others," said Crombleholme, who is now surgeon-in-chief of the Colorado Institute for Maternal and Fetal Health. Once a fetus develops a tumor, it can grow very rapidly ...



Newborn babies being wrapped in towels because of hospital blanket shortage
Scottish Daily Record
NEWBORN babies are being wrapped in towels instead of blankets because of shortages at one of Scotland's biggest maternity hospitals. Last night, politicians united in anger over the scandal – just two months after Alex Salmond promised changes after a ...
Hospital short of blankets for babiesThe Scottish Sun

all 3 news articles »

Google News