HOME

BOOKMARK

NEWSLETTER

Join our newsletter to receive news of offers and discounts

Search

AS FEATURED IN...


Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer

Weight WatchersŽ.co.uk. Now with an online plan.

Navigation


Parening Books

Search Now:
Amazon Logo


Parenting Predicaments


Predicament:

My son is 4 1/2 years old. His younger brother is 2 1/2. From the time his brother was born, until now, he has been loving, giving, and caring. Like all siblings sharing has not always come as easy. In the last few weeks he has made comments that I pay more attention to his brother. I have evaluated it and even though my husband and I think he is wrong...I have tried to spend more one on one time with him. He has become very quiet, withdrawn, and when ever we ask what is wrong he has a sad look and just shrugs and says nothing. The other day I heard him playing and he was dialoging that a toy needed to be sad to get attention and that that toy had just had a baby brother. He treats his brother as well as ever and he truly loves him and I just find it hard to believe that after 2 1/2 years that he is really insecure about his brothers attention getting. Is this just a way to manipulate me into paying more attention, a phase, a way of growing emotionally or what????Help please. I have prayed about it and hopefully you are the answer God has given me.

Lisa

Response

Sounds like lots of good old fashion sibling stuff going on. Nothing you mentioned is out of the norm. I found myself focusing in more on you than on what your son is going through. This is what I heard:

1. You gave your son the benefit of the doubt and discussed whether you give your other son more attention.

2. You have been willing to spend more one on one time with your older son in response to what he is presenting you with.

3. You are attentive to aspects of his play.

All good signs of an intuned, related, reflective and responsive parent. This is what your children need more than anything to grow into emotionally healthy adults.

Not to say that this is a non-issue. Help your son continue to put his feelings into words and use play as a forum for processing his experience of the world. Give him reassurance that you have enough love for both of them. Explain to him that young children sometimes need more help from grown-ups as they cannot do some of the things that "big boys" can do.

Lastly, when there is such an age difference between children, sometimes such feelings can emerge if one child begins school while the younger child get to "reap the rewards" of being home with Mommy. This then becomes one of the issues to include in your chats with your son.

Best wishes and many peaceful blessings!!!

Response by David E. Smith, CSW- Resident therapist

About The Author

"Parenting Predicaments" is a forum on the Alternative Parenting web-site where parents can submit their concerns on their child's behavior and development. Visit the site that is dedicated to living naturally at http://www.AlternativeParenting.com.

AlternativeParenting.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Boston Globe (registration)

Over 1000 melamine babies still in China hospitals
Reuters - 10 hours ago
Door-to-door screening of more than 307000 Beijing families with children under the age of three found that over 75000 babies had been fed contaminated milk ...
Battered Chinese Dairy Industry To Undergo Major Overhaul AHN
Over 1000 melamine-affected children still in Chinese hospitals RIA Novosti
Gov't shows milky way to troubled dairy firms China Daily
Xinhua - RedOrbit
all 309 news articles


eFluxMedia

Rapid care 'cuts baby's HIV risk'
BBC News, UK - 22 hours ago
Rapid drug treatment of babies with HIV dramatically cuts their risk of death and debilitating disease, international research shows. ...
Early HIV Treatment Best for Babies U.S. News & World Report
Early HIV Treatment Cuts Babies’ Death Risk eFluxMedia
Treat HIV-positive babies from the start Science News
Reuters India - Plus News
all 49 news articles


dBTechno

In vitro babies have more birth defects
Seattle Post Intelligencer - Nov 18, 2008
A new study released this week from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that babies conceived through in vitro fertilization are two to ...
Increased birth defect risk from assisted reproduction National Business Review
Birth defects linked with assisted reproduction Chicago Tribune
Assisted reproduction and the risk of birth defects Los Angeles Times
SmartAboutHealth - dBTechno
all 111 news articles


Weight Loss Surgery Helps Obese Women Have Healthier Babies
New York Times, United States - Nov 19, 2008
By RONI CARYN RABIN Women who become pregnant after weight-loss surgery have easier pregnancies and healthier babies than do obese women who become pregnant ...


Hospital Welcomes ‘Miracle Babies’ Home
Queens Tribune, NY - 1 hour ago
By Nicole Alibayof The monitor was showing a flat line and the baby wasn’t breathing. Nineteen minutes later the doctor was still trying to resuscitate him ...
Infant child care is scarce in Central New York The Post-Standard - Syracuse.com
all 2 news articles


Coroner rules babies deaths accidental
WHOI, IL - 29 minutes ago
By Blake Long Both babies, 5-month-old Jaylin Maxison, and 2-month old Kendrick Franklin Jr. were co-sleeping with adult caregivers on adult beds. ...


Former Banker Makes Millions Inventing Baby Dolls
MarketWatch - 9 hours ago
Dan left the comfort and security of his position as vice president of Royal Banks of Missouri to pursue a seemingly absurd passion -- creating baby dolls. ...


• Playing the baby game: Parents facing a dizzying menu of ...
The Oregonian - OregonLive.com, OR - 9 hours ago
Whether it's baby swimming or baby gymnastics, baby music or baby sign language, new parents face a bewildering menu of choices for jump-starting their ...


TheMedGuru

Bariatric Surgery Before Pregnancy Benefits Moms, Babies
U.S. News & World Report, DC - Nov 18, 2008
TUESDAY, Nov. 18 (HealthDay News) -- Women who get pregnant after having weight-loss surgery have a lower risk of maternal and newborn complications than ...
Weight-loss surgery bodes well for pregnancy Los Angeles Times
Risk Of Maternal And Newborn Complications May Be Lower After ... Science Daily (press release)
Go for pre-pregnancy weight loss surgery Times of India
Current World News - eFluxMedia
all 58 news articles


Child advocate: Abandoned babies not uncommon
WCNC (subscription), NC - 20 hours ago
“We do get our fair share of the babies,” said Johnson, whose agency works with DSS in placing children with foster families but is not involved with the ...

babies - Google News