|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|
||||
|
|
|
|
|
||
HOMEBOOKMARKNEWSLETTERJoin our newsletter to receive news of offers and discountsSearch
AS FEATURED IN...Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer
Navigation 3 Wheeler Twins And Tripples
3 Wheelers
9 Months To 11 Years
9 Months To 4 Years
Baby Bags
Bath And Changing Units
Bedding
Birth To 12 Months
Birth To 4 Years
Boori
Buggies
Buggy Accessories
Buggy Boards
Cot Accessories
Cots
Cribs
Grobags Sleeping Bags
Heritage Range
Highchairs
Monitors
Moses Baskets
Nappies
Nursing Chairs
Portable Highchairs
Rocking Horses
Starter Beds
Tandems
Travel Cots
Travel Systems
Twins
Walkers
Parening Books |
Children, Entitlement and God
"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know that!" Those were my adolescent thoughts every weekend when my parents forced me to church. "I can get more out of my headphones and the Beatles." It was this way as far back as I can remember. Early Sunday school, then later Bible studies, liturgies in another language, all culminating in a weekly teen rebellion against God and my parents. I really hated my parents (especially my Mother) for forcing religion on me. "Besides, I don't think the Smothers Brothers forced their kids, and they are political giants!" I would brood the entire hour's drive to church just to make my parents as miserable as I felt. It never changed in all those years. I look back thirty-five years to those times now and bless my parents in every prayer I pray for the gift they gave me. I no longer practice their religion, but I live with every pore in my body believing in something greater than myself. My faith is as easy as a breath in, and during times of great challenge, I don't have to search for God or strength. Everything I need is already there and will always be. I have seen my peers dedicate themselves to never raising a child that way. "I will never force my child into religion the way my parents did," became a mantra. "I will wait until they are old enough and let them choose for themselves." Those choices, along with the "feel good" experiments of the seventies, have been a dismal failure. The result is an ever increasing growth of what I call "entitlement fixated" people. It is so pervasive that, had I the power, I would make it a new personality disorder designation. When children are raised to never know failure, they can't savior the delicacy of success nor can they appreciate the hunger that second place instills. If they don't learn that we must, at times, do things we abhor for a greater good, they don't learn self-discipline. If we don't instill empathy early on, they don't ever know the complete joy in giving. And if we neglect their spiritual natures, they may never truly trust God. I see behind me a generation largely of lost souls looking for God under every rock and crystal believing they are so special that all of life's challenges are someone else's fault and someone else's duty to resolve. They are spoiled, arrogant and have no sense of healthy boundaries or respectfulness. How can they when they themselves have replaced God as the center of all worlds? This is the legacy we have given them. We have absolved them of all failures, and endowed them with unlimited special ness and therefore, tragically, they cannot arrive at the simple truth that there is something greater than themselves. My early spiritual training was a little "rough around the edges". Yet, at least there was something there - something to offer me a foundation on which to build my spiritual life. I was given s sense of divinity and an eye for all things sacred. I am not the center, but rather, a necessary part of a great whole. My participation in goodness and love and acting on what is right furthers my sense of self and God more than all the awards, accolades and accomplishments I could ever accumulate in a lifetime. Those who are entitlement fixated are trapped in lonely, fearful, winning-is-everything world. Their sense of self is so exaggerated that true intimacy and love are replaced by control and manipulation. I can't even imagine the aloneness of a "self only" existence. Arrogance replaces confidence and expectations replace caring. All sense of community is buried in an extreme need for gratification that can never be satisfied for more than a few fleeting moments. And, this personality can be either flagrantly overt, or seductively, manipulatively, covert. But the goal is always the same: to fulfill the needs of the self, first and always. This differs from narcissism in that all empathic responses and attempts at spiritual connection are based on an outcome, rather than an open heart. A true narcissist is capable of empathy and connection so long as they are not momentarily threatened. A person with entitlement fixation doesn't ever experience the feelings though they will often vehemently deny this. I feel tremendous compassion for the entitlement-fixated souls on our world. They must be among the loneliest and the most unsure. I have given great thought to the antidote for this affliction and I believe that the answer lies partly in one simple concept: humility. Humility is a forgotten lesson. We have confused humility with humiliation and have fought hard to protect our young from its pain. Humility is the concept Mother Theresa tried to convey when she said, "I am just God's little pencil." It is an exquisite feeling of surrender and openness all in one glorious, spiritual moment. I am humbled when enveloped in a magenta sunset, or when caught in seizures of belly laughs. I feel humbled by the unswerving loyalty and joyous antics of my dogs. I am humbled by the amount of overwhelming talent in my small town and in the awesome devotion of all the volunteers to service I meet. I live my life in an unassuming, understated kind of way. I am inspired by the vastness and intimate knowledge of all things greater than I, yet I am confident and competent in meeting the challenges of my life. Children need to know that the knowledge gained in failure can outweigh the feelings of being first. There can be true rejoicing in another's success. Being a part of something greater is better than being noticed. Giving is it's own peace. God is not a concept, but a sense that needs to be nurtured and developed before it can be experienced. It is our humility that allows us to be happy for others and foster their highest good. My parents were clumsy, at times, in their lessons and they didn't dote on me. Instead, they gave me something I can cherish. Don't neglect your child's spiritual development. Any foundation is better than none. The lessons of self-discipline, humility, community, and God are all worth any resistance you may encounter. This is our job as parents and role models. This legacy is our best. About The Author Erika J. Chopich, Ph.D.is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process and the best-selling co-author of "Healing Your Aloneness" and "The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook." Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:erika@innerbonding.com
MORE RESOURCES:
babies - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Getting through the School Daze It's back to school time again. Does the thought of having to get everyone organized and out the door make you want to send for boarding school brochures? Here are a few tips to help get through that back to school daze. Birth of a Parent So you're pregnant. Congratulations! Your life is about to change in ways you might find unthinkable (and we're not even talking about the surrender of your once slim waistline to proportions most comparable to that of a Dr. How Well Do You Know Your Child? Do you think you really know your child? I don't mean know what he/she likes and doesn't like, but to know him/her well enough to understand his/her challenges, to appreciate his/her strengths and weaknesses and to help him/her develop his talents. Knowing your children can help increase their chance for success in the future and improve your relationship. Homework Doesn't Have to Be a Battle of Wills Homework. It doesn't have to be a daily battle of wills between child and parent. Raising Kids on a Budget There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase your income and 2) Decrease your outgo.B Buy what you need, not what you want. Spending Time With Your Child Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children to get any sense that they are loved and wanted, you have to be prepared to spend some time with them. I know you are all thinking, so tell me something I don't know. Why Do People Have Kids? Despite the theory that people have kids because they want and have planned for a family; the truth is that most people have kids because a woman gets pregnant. That is about the only reason. The ADD Child: Challenging Parents, Teachers and Friends The ADD child exhibits a series of behaviors that are common in most children. Most children misbehave, act silly and day dream. Kids, Chores & More Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is easier to take the garbage out yourself than to keep nagging your son? Do you wonder what kind of employee he will become since he doesn't always follow through at home? Is it worth the effort on your part to insist that he do his share? The answer is a resounding Yes!The lessons of life and self that we want our children to learn in our homes are not only the practical ones, such as making a bed, sewing on a button or cooking a meal. They include intangible benefits as well; it is equally important for children to learn the art of cooperation, the satisfaction of finishing a job, the ease in following a schedule and the value of sticking with a task. Clean Slates and Fresh Starts Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts and new clothes. Pens, pencils and notebooks, the smell of a new box of crayons and a brand new book; it all speaks of such promise. 10 Things You Can Do To Help A Shy Child There are a few points about shyness in children which will help you better understand the best approach in dealing with your child. You will need to identify the nature of your child's shyness. Tips for Parents of Teenagers: Dont Just Survive - Thrive! What makes parenting so challenging at times? One widespread research study reports that feeling "unprepared" tops the list for many parents' causes of dissatisfaction. And parents of teenagers, in particular, may feel this acutely as so many changes converge at once: adolescents are changing in every conceivable way while they often push parents away in their search for individuality. The Old and the New During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Girls Gone Mild Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many people confused about values, virtues and life.What voices are calling out to you and what voices are you listening to?My daughter is just now enjoying her first year in life. The Free Ride In Public Schools To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many public schools today automatically advance failing students to the next grade level. In other schools, some students are left back a maximum of one year, then promoted again regardless of their academic skills. How to Take Charge of the TV Many children enjoy TV, and they can learn from it. Keep in mind, though, that young children often imitate what they see, good or bad. Parenting Your Teenager: 7 Tips for Back to School Success Blink. That's all we did, blink, and summer is ending and a new school year is beginning. Parenting Your Teenager: The Bottom Line Issues Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what are the typical bottom-line issues?A. Lead with Love:How Mothers Can Use Their Greatest Strength to Manage Around Their Technical Weakness My wife and I have been working on a video scrapbook for our son now for about a year. The project originally started out as a movie of all of our video clips but it was immediately apparent that this scope was far too great. Childhood Obesity & Parents Healthy Food Confusion Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for their children. When they are able to opt for healthy choices, about two-thirds struggle to get their children to eat healthily, a poll of nearly 800 parents found.
|
