|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|
||||
|
|
|
|
|
||
HOMEBOOKMARKNEWSLETTERJoin our newsletter to receive news of offers and discountsSearch
AS FEATURED IN...Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer
Navigation 3 Wheeler Twins And Tripples
3 Wheelers
9 Months To 11 Years
9 Months To 4 Years
Baby Bags
Bath And Changing Units
Bedding
Birth To 12 Months
Birth To 4 Years
Boori
Buggies
Buggy Accessories
Buggy Boards
Cot Accessories
Cots
Cribs
Grobags Sleeping Bags
Heritage Range
Highchairs
Monitors
Moses Baskets
Nappies
Nursing Chairs
Portable Highchairs
Rocking Horses
Starter Beds
Tandems
Travel Cots
Travel Systems
Twins
Walkers
Parening Books |
The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family
There's a new kind of fun and calm out there in the name of the Better Behavior Wheel, invented by Julie Butler and her family in central British Columbia. In an interesting twist on charts and discipline, this versatile wheel can be hung on a wall or toted with you in the car and on vacations. It's a way to get whole family involvement, and a little bit of humor to get us over the discipline bumps. Kayla Fay, publisher of Who Put the Ketchup in the Medicine Cabinet? says, "This is the proverbial spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down! Only a loving parent could come up with such an effective way to discipline children." As the Wheel Turns Originally, the wheel sprang from constant battles between Julie's 9- and 12-year-old children, David and Laura. With battles raging in their home, Julie and her husband decided they must find some way to keep the peace. Julie says, "We hated the atmosphere of tension that would invariably follow these exchanges. Our once happy home was being turned into a war zone, and it felt like there were land mines scattered beneath our feet. One night, in desperation, we called the kids into the living room and told them how upsetting their behavior was. We asked them for suggestions on how we could restore peace and serenity back into the family." The kids were sent to their room to come up with at least six appropriate consequences for their next fight. David and Laura presented the family with consequences like: Clean the other person's room Do dishes for the other person Make the other person's bed for a week Lend your favorite CD or game to the other person for a week Make a list of ten good things about the other person Hug and make up?. These suggestions were arranged around the perimeter of a board, and a spinner attached to the middle. The premise was that the spinner would choose the consequence for them, and they would hang the board in plain view in the kitchen. Julie remembers, "We crossed our fingers, and waited. And waited. It was amazing. Just the presence of the board, hanging on our kitchen wall, had an instant calming effect on the atmosphere in our home. Occasionally we'd see one of the kids standing in front of the board, idly flicking the spinner, checking it out. But the fighting had stopped." Of course, the battle was won, but not the war. Ten days later, the fighting began again, but this time they were prepared. Says Julie, "We called them both into the kitchen, took the board down off the wall, and placed it on the table. They knew what they had to do. How could they refuse? They chose the consequences. They practically invented the board. It landed on the most dreaded consequence of all: Hug and make up!" Once the fighting subsided, Julie realized there were other behaviors she also wished to curb. "It seemed like the kids were always leaving the lights on when they left a room. Or they'd leave the TV on when they went to bed. Why not make another wheel with consequences related to wasting electricity?" Eventually, eight themes were added: Excessive Arguing Leaving the Lights On Not Putting Things Away A Job Poorly Done Stretching the Truth Taking Without Asking Talking Back Wheel of Just Desserts (rewards) Forty-eight consequences and 16 rewards are printed on peel-and-stick paper with colorful eye-catching graphics, enabling parents to customize the wheel to meet their family's needs. Just cut them out and stick them on. It's very easy to make up your own consequences and themes. Interestingly, Julie says the wheel lowers her stress, keeps the consequences appropriate, and removes parents from the "Bad Guy" label. In the past, she and her husband would have to repeatedly ask David to do something, only to hear him say, "I know." This would come to a boil, and in anger they would yell and exact a punishment too harsh for the infraction. Now, the wheel does all the work. "David, it's 8:15; you haven't started the dishes yet. I'm afraid we'll have to spin the wheel." "But, Mom!" "I'm sorry, Dear. It's really not up to me. Those are the rules we all agreed on. Gee, I hope you don't land on a really bad consequence." Julie says, "The amazing thing is, we're no longer the bad guys. We can actually root for the kids as they drag themselves up to the wheel. It's no longer 'us against them'. It's the wheel that they have to answer to. But the greatest thing of all is that we hardly ever have to use the wheel. It hangs on the kitchen wall, acting as a watchdog and reminder." What Else? The Butlers' website, www.better-behavior.com , shows some parents of ADHD children have found the wheel to be a wonderful program. That is great news for many! Every parent should work with their child's personality and decide if the wheel is right for them, keeping in mind that every program doesn't work with every child. There are a couple of letters on Julie's site from parents asking for help with children who are completely out of control. One mother says her five-year-old "beats (his big sister), kills animals, curses, and destroys everything in his path." Another mother said her six-year-old adopted daughter has angry outbursts and goes in cycles. She wondered what to do when her child refuses the consequences and it starts another battle. These are warning signs of something more serious than just a discipline problem. Often, young children and teenagers exhibiting these symptoms have a physical problem that can cause behavioral changes, such as infections, Lyme Disease and thyroid problems. Mental disorders such as early-onset bipolar disorder can also cause very similar symptoms and must be diagnosed and treated immediately. In these cases, the Wheel would not be appropriate and medical intervention is needed immediately. For help, contact your pediatrician and look for information on these diseases and disorders on the Internet. However, there is still a possibility that the wheel will be valuable with a child who is stabilized. Again, parents will have to make the decision to try the wheel according to each child. The Last Word Parents of children with normal behavior and discipline problems are encouraged to try this wheel and have a little fun with discipline! Bringing the whole family into the discipline decision-making is an excellent way to work as a team and come to a peaceful solution. The wheel isn't meant to exact negative punishment on a child, but rather remind them to pick their battles and mind their parents. Teachers and parents alike will find the wheel very useful in classrooms and homes everywhere with children ages four and up! Gina Ritter is a personal life coach for parents and publisher of www.naturalfamilyonline.com. She lives in New York with her husband and three boys (who also spin in the kitchen).
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means Because most teens have not had the experience of getting to the end of the money before the end of the month, the words, ``I can't afford it,'' have little or no meaning.Here's what can happen in lots of homes:``Mom, can I get a new (fill in the blank)?''``No, honey, I'm sorry, but we can't afford it. Marriage, Divorce, and Kids Are men to blame for the divorce problem in this country?It's been said that one of the reasons for the high rate of divorce in this country is the manner in which men choose their wives. Specifically, they choose their wives in a fashion similar to how they choose their next car. 15 Ways to Help Kids Like Themselves 1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your child to focus on her many strengths. Childrens Books And Educational Toys - Can They Still Be Fun And Have Educational Value It was no contest. Given a choice between a ball and a book, my son would never have cracked a book binding. Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson Never Went To Public School Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison, like most average colonial Americans, spent few years, if any, in formal grammar schools of the day, yet they knew how to read and write well.Most voluntary local grammar schools expected parents to teach their children to read and write before they started school. Selecting A Quality Day Care Center Many working families choose a commercial or individual day care center to care for their child during the workday. We've listed important aspects of a daycare center's environment to evaluate when making your choice: Staff to Child Ratio. Is My Child Lazy? Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do some children move as if in slow motion? Is this normal or are they just trying to irritate you? You may be surprised to learn that a great many factors come into play when a child appears to be lazy; stage of growth, hormones, hunger, motivation, lack of clear directions and maybe even sleep deprivation.I have never taught my workshop of "Kids, Chores & More" when there hasn't been at least two parents of 11 year old boys lamenting that their sons are so lazy. The Ten Most Common Poisons Among Kids For parents, keeping our kids safe is a constant top priority. But even with the best intentions it's possible to overlook some potentially harmful household poisons. The POWER of Reading Reading to your child at a young age is one of the most effective tools for expanding his mind and instilling a lifelong love of learning. Reading a good book allows your child to travel to places she has never been, to meet people she has never met, and to develop an understanding of how to deal with a variety of physical and emotional situations. So, The Thing Is... Im Feeling A Little Guilty So, the thing is? I am feeling a little guilty.I know, I know, what's new? I'm like the travel agent for guilt trips. Financially Stable Kids - Prepared for College We are all familiar with the stories that most students have when they finally get through those last days of college. Their financial states are in ruins, with accumulated credit card debt along with the student loans. Lets Not Hurry Children Through Childhood Have you ever experienced one of those days when you wanted to return to the carefree days of childhood when your biggest worry was how you could con your parents into staying up a little longer at night. Have you ever thought that you would like to be a child once more when the biggest decision for the day was choosing which topping put on your ice cream?While this worry-free existence maybe idealised, there is little doubt that most parents want to capture this carefree, happy feeling for their children. Registering a Birth in Scotland Who Can Register A Birth? The child's mother or father should register the birth within 21 days. However, a father who is not married to the child's mother can only register a birth and be named on the birth certificate as the father if: he jointly signs the register with the mother, or a court has declared that he is the father, or the mother and he jointly sign a declaration available from the Registrar. How to Raise Creative Kids "Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze us with their imaginative ideas, and we should give ourselves a pat on the back for playing a role in this development. Innovative thinking is essential for success in school and in life, and it's our job as parents to nurture our kids' innate desire to be creative. Navigating in the New World: Parents and Teenagers Growing Together One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture is the one that says, "Adolescence is a time of inevitable conflict." You will hear doctors say it, and teachers, and therapists, and pastors, and even parents. The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family There's a new kind of fun and calm out there in the name of the Better Behavior Wheel, invented by Julie Butler and her family in central British Columbia. In an interesting twist on charts and discipline, this versatile wheel can be hung on a wall or toted with you in the car and on vacations. Avoid Weight Problems In Children Although, not a well publicized statistic, childhood obesity has more than tripled in the past two decades-15% of American children are obese according to the U.S. The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up (Ecclesiastes 3:1-3) Four of the boys at training tonight are preparing themselves for their first fight at our forthcoming Christians vs. Lions promotion, scheduled for only three weeks hence. Public-school Teachers Know Best --- They Send Their Kids To Private Schools A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found that nationwide, public-school teachers are almost twice as likely as other parents to send their children to a private school. Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Traps to Avoid 4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize the trap that is being set when your kids ask,"Well, why can't I (fill in the blank)?"Many well-intentioned parents then proceed to give a well-reasoned response and then wonder why the kids blow up and don't accept it.Here's a response I believe a parent will never get:"Thank you for that explanation Mom and Dad.
|
