HOME

BOOKMARK

NEWSLETTER

Join our newsletter to receive news of offers and discounts

Search

AS FEATURED IN...


Lucy Siegle On Eithical Living: Sunday March 5, 2006 The Observer

Weight Watchers®.co.uk. Now with an online plan.

Navigation


Parening Books

Search Now:
Amazon Logo


You Want Whaaat???


Not too long ago my teenage daughter approached me with a very special request... one that not every father gets from his loving daughter. I was sitting in front of the TV after a hard day at work and while I was fidgeting with the defective cable company-provided remote (the one the kids only know how to operate) trying to find a movie I hadn't yet seen ten times already on cable, she blurts out, "Dad, can I have a breast reduction?"

Now, if you're a parent then you know there exists a certain 'conditioning' that occurs over the years when responding to questions from our children, especially if your attentions are focused elsewhere at the moment. They all have this tendency to ask questions at the most inappropriate times. For example, one time I was wrestling with a stubborn pipe while fixing a leak under the kitchen sink. To begin with, I was in a seemingly impossible body contortion trying to manipulate a wrench in a confined space so my frustration level was accelerating. At that moment a passing kid asked, "Dad, can I have ddgrfguff?". I didn't hear the last part of the question but I was safe in responding back, "Yeah, sure." You see, it was a 'can I have' question which was usually food-related as opposed to 'can I go' which requires some passing thought to respond (later I caught holy-heck from my wife for letting my son eat something too close to dinner, but that's a whole other story). But as the kids got older the 'can I have' questions became less about food and more about a request for money... lots of money.

So when my loving daughter asked, "Dad, can I have gufffunfgarble?", (again being too sidetracked to hear the end of the question) my first fatherly instinct was to pause ever so briefly (while watching the TV screen fly uncontrollably past HBO and our local city council meeting and stopping at one of those shopping channels) and I reach for my wallet. Suddenly I realized as I was fingering the few singles left in my wallet that she was not asking for money. "You want whaaaat??"

Well, as you would expect, my daughter is "blessed" with rather predominant female accouterments (not sure who's side of the family she got that gene from). She went on to express her reason for this request. "I'm tired of people not looking up at *me* when I talk to them, Dad." Ahhh.. this was a deep human question coming from a 16 year old; an opportunity for lessons to be learned!

I could have blown this all off by simply telling her that when she is of age she could make her own decisions about that; and for now it was not something her folks were ready to consider. But these things always end up being something more. I was afraid her self-esteem would end up suffering somewhere down the line. So we talked about sincerity, understanding, guys, social attitudes, and personal appearance. We talked about reality... and expectations... and being self-confident. It was the proverbial quality time together.

She has never again asked that question because she has developed a pride in herself and how she looks.. and confidence in her natural instincts and social behavior. In the end my daughter asked a question that could have been answered with a simple yes or no. But what she was really asking was, "Help me, dad." I nearly missed the boat.

About The Author

Doug Burkland is degreed in the behavioral sciences and writes articles regarding family life, parenting, human sexuality, entrepreneurship, and current events. An aging baby boomer raised in the Mid-West and having liberal-conservative attitudes, Doug is an admitted 'survivor' of public education who thinks he has something to say that people might like to read; sometimes using a bit of healthy satire, mixed with friendly sarcasm, and at times tempered with thought provoking common sense. Along with being an entrepreneur (having had three businesses of his own), Doug has a broad perspective on balancing life and family.

http://www.dougburkland.com or email doug@dougburkland.com


MORE RESOURCES:

WWLP 22News

Jardine, Regulators Expand Baby-Crib Recall
Wall Street Journal - 21 hours ago
The cribs in the original recall were sold at various stores nationwide, including KidsWorld, Toys "R" Us, Babies "R" Us and Geoffrey Stores. ...
More China-Made Baby Cribs Recalled AHN
Baby Cribs Recalled Due To Strangulation Danger WHIOtv.com
Recall of faulty cribs expanded Chicago Tribune
Consumer Affairs - WWMT
all 92 news articles


BBC News

Care room open after baby's death
BBC News, UK - 2 hours ago
An intensive care room has reopened to new admissions after a bug which has killed one baby affected a hospital's neo-natal ward. ...
Babies isolated after bug kills infant Scotsman
Neonatal ward sealed off after baby dies Times Online
Deadly bug kills baby and puts seven more in isolation in hospital Telegraph.co.uk
The Press Association - UK Express
all 160 news articles


DCFS Investigated Home of Babies Found in Squalor Before
MSNBC - 5 hours ago
Three adults accused of keeping three babies in a West Side apartment with deplorable living conditions faced a judge on Sunday, where bond was set at ...


LIVENEWS.com.au

Baby's best interest
Melbourne Herald Sun, Australia - 2 hours ago
Everyone is relieved to hear that the baby who allegedly ingested ecstasy will make a full recovery. While situations like this may seem very black and ...
Baby was allegedly fed half an ecstasy tablet NEWS.com.au
Baby in coma after swallowing tablet Ninemsn
Ecstasy overdose baby parents bailed in Cairns court NEWS.com.au
all 136 news articles


BBC News

China investigates baby's death
BBC News, UK - 6 hours ago
By Chris Hogg An investigation is under way in China after a two-month-old baby boy in Jiangsu died soon after being fed baby milk powder for the first time ...


TopNews

Long leave helps baby's health and mom's
The Oregonian - OregonLive.com, OR - 14 hours ago
Taking many months of maternity leave improves the health of working women and their babies, two new studies report. But the authors say such leaves are ...
Maternity Leave Improves Health of Moms and Babies, Research Shows About Working Moms
Maternity Leave Good for Mother and Baby MedPage Today
Long maternity leaves increase breastfeeding Times of India
all 30 news articles


ABC News

HORROR: Dead Baby Thrown In NJ Hospital Garbage
WCBS-TV New York, NY - Jan 5, 2009
Read more in our Privacy Policy A shocking story came out of Jersey City on Monday night: the remains of a baby were thrown out in a hospital's trash. ...
Video: Baby's Corpse Thrown Out With Hospital's Trash AssociatedPress
Hospital throws a babies body in trash ShortNews.com
all 342 news articles


Kids alone for days, parents dead in locked room
The Associated Press - Jan 5, 2009
"How could they leave the babies?" asked neighbor Ashley Barker. "If something was going on, an argument, why didn't they send them to the neighbors? ...


Times Online

Newborn babies´ situation becomes desperate
CCTV, China - 1 hour ago
Babies delivered prematurely need to be kept in incubators powered by electricity. But the situation is becoming desperate. Dr. Radwan Hasouna, Head of ...
Video: UN pushes for Gaza ceasefire RussiaToday
As Babies Are Being Slaughtered, Where Are The Western Human ... Turkish Press
Kids caught in the Gaza crossfire NDTV.com
Seattle Post Intelligencer - Irish Times
all 26,195 news articles


Sisters close out '08, ring in '09 with babies at West Valley Hospital
Arizona Republic, AZ - 19 hours ago
But the Southwest Valley's first baby of 2009 was born at Banner Estrella Medical Center in southwest Phoenix. Alexander Camacho was born at 12:47 am New ...

babies - Google News